


Oaking

by magicmumu



Series: Nerd 'N' General [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Because I want them to have all the love cuddles and sex and babies 5ever, Breaking Up & Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 19:42:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14879984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicmumu/pseuds/magicmumu
Summary: Alex and Astra talk about their break up.ORThe sequel to Nerd N General no one asked for.





	Oaking

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to video and pictures of Chyler Leigh looking gay as hell with the hair cut and guitar, there may be more in this universe should ideas come up or if prompted, but again no promises.

The bar was a little busier than Astra had ever seen it this time of night. She guessed the destruction of one of the few alien friendly bars had its regulars migrating here instead until it was rebuilt. Though human owned and run, Astra knew that if asked, some alien drinks were served at this bar. It helped that she had once saved the owner, which had changed the policy. Seeing the slight crowd, Astra considered sending a text to Alex suggesting a new location for their talk, but as soon as she had taken three steps inside she could hear that Alex was already there. She ordered a shot of tequila and a beer for herself and one of the select alien ales for Astra. It was the exact order Astra would have made had she arrived first, and the Kryptonian's emotions were indescribable to her at the thought that they still knew each other so well.

"I'm glad you made it," Alex said in a nervous greeting when she spotted Astra coming nearer.

"Of course. I heard you've already ordered." Astra moved to her back pocket for the prepaid debit card in the Hello Kitty wallet Kara had bought her for the human holiday Christmas.

"I offered, Astra. I'll pay."

"Well," Astra replied, "should there be more, I will pay."

"Deal."

They were quiet then until drinks were set before them, and when Alex didn't move from her seat at the bar, Astra settled on to the stool next to her. After the first sip of her ale, Astra spoke up first. "This is as far as my courage and curiosity can bring me. I know that this will be painful and I am hesitant to begin."

"I'll drink to that." Alex raised her shot glass to Astra, who did the same with her ale, letting the agent clink the two together. Alex licked the salt off of the rim of the shot glass and, once downed, the shot glass went to the table again. Astra watched as Alex bit the lime giving both of them some time to gather thoughts. Her eyes never left the bar top as she finally began, "I'll start us off by apologizing for taking three fuckin' years to get around to even having this conversation with you, Astra. I... didn't know I wasn't the only one still hurting.. And - Yeah, I know I was the one who... who broke it off so I thought I deserved to still be stuck on you, but you?" Alex met Astra's eyes and said, "I'm sorry, Astra."

Astra nodded. "Thank you. You stated - Back at the coffee house, you said you saw pictures of Kara and me performing?"

"And a video Winn took, yeah."

"And you saw for yourself tonight when you arrived," Astra said, feeling once more the embarrassment of the night slowly consume her.

"Yes." Alex wasn't sure where Astra was going with her line of questioning, but let it run its course, knowing from experience that she would get to her root question soon.

"Was that when you knew that I too was... hurting?""

"Yes. I was blind to my own pain, I never saw yours. You didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve any of it."

"No, I didn't. I do, however, deserve to know why. That final argument we had was trivial in comparison to so many others previously. I waited, as I often had before, for your call or text. I waited for us to discuss it and resolve the conflict between us, but we never did. Kara had advised me to let you go calm yourself and think it through, and so I did. I wonder if I shouldn't have taken that advice knowing better now. I waited for you for days, and then a week. That was when I knew you weren't coming back to me. That was when my confusion changed."

"The Rampage."

Astra tried not to show the grimace. She sometimes got gentle teasing from Kara about it. Even Agent Vasquez was allowed to mention it with a small bump of the hip in jest, as she had been the one to talk her down and convince Astra to face the consequences of her actions. Still, she was not proud of herself for that moment in time. "Yes."

"You're right to be confused - Hell, you're more than in your right to still be pissed at me." Alex said, picking at the label of her beer.

"I still do not understand why, Alexandra. Why that argument? What were we really fighting for?"

"I was fighting myself more than I was ever fighting you, Astra. You were the casualty in the end of it. I... This may not make sense to you. 'Alex Logic' back then doesn't even make as much sense to me now. I felt we were the impossible couple. Enemies to friends to lovers, not to mention being pseudo family because of Kara, but I fell so quickly and so completely in the middle of a war for you, Astra. I barely had time to come out to myself at the time, let alone to friends and family. There I was after five months wanting the entire world with you and it was so intense and consuming it scared the shit out of me. So I picked a fight and then I ran like hell."

Astra didn't speak for a long while, taking long pulls from her ale in thought. Finally, when she heard Alex's heart rate and fidgeting increase, she said, "I believe I would have understood your inner turmoil, not that you could have known that then. We cannot - " Astra sighed, spinning the bottle in her hand. "I will not stop loving you. That is the one promise I will always keep. I will, however, stop oaking - no, **_pining_**. I'll stop dedicating songs to you when I perform. Out loud, at least."

Alex's eyes welled with tears as she listened to Astra's words. "How could you call me Brave One when you're the one sitting there with your heart on your sleeve and I'm the one who ran away?"

"I have little to lose, Alexandra, and I have already lost you."

Alex's tears did fall then, and she let out a small sob, her hand going to her face. To Astra's surprise, the agent turned to her, and she found herself taking Alex into her, resting her cheek to auburn hair. The move caused looks from bystanders, who quickly remembered their own affairs when met with Astra's glare. Astra's heightened senses took in the sniffles and apologies spoken to her chest. "God, I've stolen so much from us. I'm such a fucking idiot." Astra didn't speak as she ventured to rub Alex's back. When Alex pulled away, she felt the loss, wondering when or if she would ever get the privilege to hold her again. "Thank you for letting me slobber on you."

Astra needed a moment to remember that slobber was another word for the excess of saliva, typically in the context of canines. "It is alright," Astra said.

"So um... I guess that was everything on my part, but I don't want to just dump that on you. What are you thinking?"

"You know my thoughts. I was confused, and then I was angry. If I hadn't learned to express those emotions through music I may still be angry, but I am not anymore. I believe I was waiting for the closure you mentioned, the resolution, and yet I am uncertain if it will change my heart, set as it is."

"Then what do you want?"

Astra looked to Alex then, their eyes locking, both sets shining in shed and unshed tears. "I want that which has been stolen from us." Alex's breath hitched, but Astra continued on before she lost her words completely. "I want the life we once promised each other. I do not wish to overwhelm you with my heart. Our speaking now shows that the fight you have waged with yourself had reached its conclusion. Should you desire the same of me, you need only reclaim your name, Brave One, and I'll never be far."

"I still love you," Alex uttered, knowing Astra would hear her.

"And of course I love you," Astra said, feeling her own chest ache and her least trusted emotion swell: hope.

"You wanna get out of here? I have left over take out somehow, if you're hungry at all. And I have Amazon Prime now, so... Lots of options if you'd like to watch something with me."

"Yes. To everything, Alex," Astra said softly. "Everything you're offering me." Alex started with her hand, reaching out for Astra's. Astra took it, bringing it to her lips to kiss before linking the fingers and lightly tugging the agent off of the stool.

Together they left the bar. They walked toward Alex's apartment a mile away, silent for a majority of it until Alex said, "You know, if you want to keep dedicating songs to me, I don't think I would mind. Maybe happier songs now."

Astra looked to Alex with a smile. "Perhaps you can help me pick the song for next week."

"Absolutely.


End file.
